Saturday, October 21, 2006

hey i just learnt of a great insult. rather in italian terms. MESSALINA. hahaha whoever named their kid that. pity on that kid. i hope she never makes it to italy.

so here goes the history of it.

messalina was the wife of claudius the emperor of rome. claudius was a dumb ass emperor with no brain of his own and his ass was being owned by his 'freed slave' [what a paradox yes? a slave is supposed to be one that is trapped in bondage and so how does one be free and be in bondage at the same time?] and his wife messalina. and messalina is obviously not being satisfied in anyway by this old fart and so finds another roman man to get down and kinky with. so in comes gaius sillius who is supposed to be all taut and handsome. roman culture is derived from greek culture. and for some reason, they are obsessed with beauty and so when they say handsome [implying han-sum and hum-sup in our singaporean term] man, they mean DROP DEAD GORGEOUS. so maybe because of his old age. imagine gaius sillius to be a george clooney! ooohh hunkasaurus :) anyhow. so messalina being in control of everything in the empire, showers the hunka with tons of loot. you name he's got it. sillius looks like he is the emperor because he has the royal crest and all. and he is not satisfied. he wants the empire. so he tells messalinam, "baby let us be no secret anymore. let's get married." so messalina being a woman full of lust and passion [a legend goes that she satisfies herself in brothels 'cause for some apparent reason george clooney cannot satisfy her either.. what is it with women] and they get married. and claudius hears of it. dumb ass really. it's all been happening under his nose but he didn't know it was. and his slave, narcissuss, tells him he needs to take action. and obviously he does something only with the backing of narcissus of course. and there you go. death of messalina. and reign of claudius who later forgets.. that he had a wife named messalina. he had no memory and it was aided by the destruction of all things that had any link to messalina. an empress that reigned but never remembered.

heyyy i just revised. yay :)

so now. when you curse..

messalina = scheming, lustful slut. oh and VERY BEAUTIFUL. damn the criteria.

pau

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